Scrapple News: Nutz a Poppin!
We begin in South Philly, where a train carrying fracked oil derailed over the Schuylkill river early Monday morning. So far no leaks have been found… which almost doesn’t matter. The river is already so polluted, the smell of crude wafting over the South Street bridge could only improve your morning commute. Anything is a welcome change from the usual beer-fart and sewage stench. As for the local water supply? Better than West Virginia but worse than San Francisco. Honestly, I’ve been drinking Schuylkill punch my whole life, and I turned out fine. At least that’s what the talking lump on the back of my neck tells me.