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AP Ticker’s Life Lessons: Predictions for the Future

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It’s a new year, a new life, a new beginning.
It’s time to tune in, turn on and drop out,.
Or perhaps we should tune out, turn off and drop dead.
Regardless….I’m hear to tell about your new year and what is going to happen to you.
I know whats going to happen to you because my third eye sees everything.

Here’s whats going to happen to you and only you….

You are going to get better looking, your teeth are going to get whiter, your breath will smell sweeter, your back acne will clear up, you will lose weight, you will become the desire of every woman….and the envy of every man.

When you drive, you will never run out of gas, your car will always start and never break down, and you will always ALWAYS have a green light.

You will never wait in a line. When you go to a restaurant, you will get the best table and the food…is always delicious.

Your family loves you and your friends love you even more.

There is no need to hurry anymore, because everything in the universe, and i do mean everything, is within arms reach.

Your boss will give you that promotion and bonus that you have always wanted, but you will soon realize that you no longer need “a boss”, because money will no longer be any concern to you. Your work will no longer be considered “work”, because you genuinely enjoy what you do.

You will always be happy and a dark thought will never cross your mind.
You will no longer be a drudge, who trudges through the sludge, like a miserable mudge.

Enjoy your year my friend, because next year, it’s all going to turn to shit.

Til next time folks, I’m AP Ticker and the more you ignore me, the closer I get.

Scrapple TV is written by:
Jonathan Valania
Brenden Skwire
Scott Colan

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